I have thought to myself a million times over the past few months that I needed to post on here, but honestly, I have felt super uninspired… until now.
Starting a new school year, moving into a new house, living with new roommates, and saying goodbye to a four-year relationship, has ultimately left my world turned upside down. At first, I was overwhelmed. With everything changing so quickly, I didn’t even recognize myself. Everything familiar felt like a distant world that I was clinging to, simply for some comfort. I craved stability and familiarity, and with each day, it felt like that was getting further and further away. All of these changes, forced me to examine myself, and the choices I have made over the past few months. And let me tell you, looking inward is never easy. Nobody wants to admit to anybody, let alone themselves, the insecurities or fears that they have. Nobody wants to seem weak, broken, sad or feel as though they just can’t get a handle on things.
It can be hard to deal with the disappointment, that accompanies the reality of our situation. But here is the reality, you have to accept the worse parts of yourself, to find the best. Sacrifice is uncomfortable, but it is essential for growth. Growth requires a daily effort, to recognize your own needs and take steps towards meeting those needs.
I am not saying I have it figured out, but I can tell you that over the past few weeks, I have been getting back to the basics and boy, does it feel good. For the first time in four years, I feel truly independent. Free from absorbing the needs of another individual. I have grown around people for a longtime, and honestly, I was having a hard time figuring out who I was without them. But now, I feel ready to focus on me. I owe myself the same love and attention I have been giving out for so long. In the spirit of essentialism, I have been taking a hard look at how I spend my time and energy. I want to make sure I am focused on what matters most to me, and forces me to grow.
As a relatively motivated individual, I have been trying to focus on slowness. I have become more mindful of my mental space and been selective on who and what I focus my attention on. I feel calm and ready for change. I have been focusing a lot of energy into the things that I love, painting, hiking, music and writing. I have surrounded myself with some amazing people, that push me to be the best version of myself (including my amazing new roommates). I even took up a new hobby- I guess you could say I am a plant mom now – THANKS CELINE!
I am a big believer in sustainable change. How we spend our days is, how we spend our lives – why wouldn’t you want to take care of yourself? I know this seems trivial. But the point is, only you can make those changes. What works for me, will not work for you. But I challenge you to slow down, and really focus in on what you need to thrive, grow and succeed. Self-reflection is key, and I promise you, nothing bad can come of it (no matter how hard it may feel). I am looking forward to this new journey and I am very excited about what this new chapter holds for me.
PS: many more blog posts in the near future – ya girl is back!